Friends Like This Jesse POV chapters

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Bowling Alley Guy

(from Friends Like This chapter 15)

Jesse

Ida is sinfully boring. I’m the only one of my best friends home from school so far. Well, Jenna is always here because she still lives here and goes to a local college, but she’s living in a love bubble with her boyfriend Brett right now, and though I like him, I have no desire to intrude and be a third wheel.

So what am I doing?

Fuck if I know.

I grab a beer from the fridge and head for the living room. The house is empty since Joel and everyone left for a party earlier. I went for a walk, ate pizza, and now here I am. Bored out of my mind.

I fling myself onto the couch and grab the remote. I’m about to pop the top on my beer when my phone rings. “Rae Rae” flashes across the screen.

Interesting.

Given that she’s at a party with all her friends, I’m surprised she’s calling me. Well, maybe this night just got interesting.

“Rae Rae. What’s up?” I answer. “Thought you guys were at that party tonight?”

“We are.” Her voice rings through the phone. “But I dumped Davey’s ass, and I want to get out of here. Mackie, Hyla, and Trevor, too, but we’re all tipsy.” Obvious by the extra lilt to her voice. “Any chance you want to come get us and go have some fun?”

A smirk forms on my lips. I’ll never turn down a fun time with Rae. We’ve always had a fun, flirty vibe without any desire to actually date each other.

“What about my brother and the rest of them?” I ask, knowing their friend group is practically sewn together. Especially Aaron and her. And the fact that she just broke up with her boyfriend and isn’t running to Aaron is surprising. But then, when I flirted with her earlier tonight, he looked at me like he might kick my ass, which is new. Rae and I tease each other and flirt. That’s not new, but Aaron’s jealousy is. Maybe they’re finally realizing they’ve always had feelings for each other. Or at least Aaron is. In some ways, I feel like I might be walking into a trap, but honestly, that makes it sound more fun.

“You know how they get protective. I don’t want protective. I want fun!”

Oh yeah, she’s definitely tipsy. I laugh, then set my unopened beer on the coffee table. “I’m on my way. Greg’s right?”

“Yes, sir.” Ah, shit. That should not turn me on, but it does. I can’t help it. Rae’s hot and sassy. It’s not like I’m jacking off in the shower thinking of her, but sometimes she turns me on. “Hey, actually, meet us at the church down the road.”

Right, of course. She has to be a spy and sneak away from everyone. Whatever. I’ll play along. I’m just glad she’s done dating that douchebag. I like to play the field, but I’m not an asshole about it like Davey is. He was decent to Rae initially, but lately, that hasn’t been the case. Unlike all her friends, I didn’t waste my breath trying to convince her to dump him. She had to decide for herself. 

“Will do. Ten minutes.”

“Bye, J.” Her sultry voice rings in my ears as I hang up and push myself off the couch. Tonight just got interesting.

***

I wait in the church parking lot, music blaring, watching as they run down the hill toward my car.

“Where to?” I ask when they’ve all piled in the car. Rae is up front with me while Trevor, Hyla, and Mackie are squished in the back.

“Let’s go bowling,” Mackenzie yells. “Shitty food. Dumb shoes. Slightly trashy, so we can be loud and have fun. Let’s go!”

How to know if you live in a small post-industrial farm town? Going to the dump of a bowling alley is a reasonable suggestion for a Friday night.

“To the bowling alley it is,” I say.

“Woo!” Hyla yells, and I laugh. Hyla is something else. Wild but sweet and always up for a good time.

A little while later, we pull into the bowling alley parking lot. The sign only half works and some of the letters are hanging down off the building. The parking lot is littered with potholes, cigarette butts, beer cans, and occasional drug paraphernalia.

We walk in and the smells of old feet, sweat, and nacho cheese permeate my nostrils. No worse than a frat party, and I’ve been to my fair share of those over the past year.

After we rent shoes and find balls, we claim a couple of lanes. Rae and I team up against Trevor and Mackie while Hyla laughs and heckles us. Which is fair because not only do we suck, but we’re also not particularly into the game. Halfway through, we give up and get some pretzels with nacho cheese and some soda that tastes more like chlorine than anything else. Fueled by pretzels, Rae starts on a rant about Davey. I lean back and enjoy it. Slightly tipsy, sassy-as-fuck Rae McKinley is one of my favorite things. It’s possible I like a spicy girl.

Again, ah shit. Focus on the story. I don’t need to get a semi right now. For the first time in my life, I’m actually imagining crossing a line with Rae, not just teasing her, and that’s a bad idea for multiple reasons. She just broke up with her boyfriend. Granted, that’s been burning to the ground for a while now, but it’s also the least important of the reasons. She’s my little brother’s best friend, and I know with certainty he’d kick my ass. And then there’s Aaron. I consider him a friend, and there’s clearly something between him and Rae, even if they haven’t admitted it.

Rae’s talking animatedly and I finally zone back into the conversation.

“He was insecure about everything! And the sex wasn’t even that good!” Damn, she’s savage. Trev and I burst out laughing at that.

“Why did you even stay with him?” I ask what we’re all thinking as I toss a bite of pretzel into my mouth.

“I don’t know.” She sighs and slumps against the bench. “Truly. Like it was genuinely good and fun at the beginning. And romantic. I want romance. No, I want more than romance. I want that sweeping, love-of-your-life kind of romance.” Then she smiles devilishly. “And if I can’t have that, I at least want great kissing, hopefully enjoyable sex, and some nice dates. Is that too much to ask? Fun. Romance. Sexy.” She shakes her head. “Boys are dumb!”

“Rude,” Trevor says as I say, “Ouch.” I put my hand to my chest like she’s deeply wounded me, even though I can’t hide my grin.

She leans forward and pokes me. “Okay, maybe not you.” She glances at Trevor. “But definitely Trev.” We all laugh, then a look of determination fills her eyes. Uh oh. “I want to have fun. Let loose. Make out with a random guy. That would totally make me feel better.”

Trevor opens his mouth, but she pins him with a glare. “No.”

“Why?”

“You’ve slept with my sister. Dated her for almost four years. N.O.”

Trevor laughs and shakes his head. I know he wasn’t too serious about that, but he’s like me. He likes to push people’s buttons.

Mackenzie and Hyla look around the bowling alley as the rest of us follow their gaze. There’s not a decent guy in the bunch—or if there is, he’s lip-locked with some girl already.

Rae’s still staring at the different guys and there is no way in hell I’m letting her even consider kissing one of them.

Especially when I’m right here.

“Slim pickings,” I say. Warning bells go off in the back of my mind, but I silence them, giving her my flirtiest smile.

Rae’s eyebrows go up, but then a slow smile forms.

“Oh boy,” Trevor says, half laughing and half groaning. “Joel’s going to kill you. Both of you.” He puts his hands up as he shakes his head. “I want no part in this. Come on, let’s go play a round of pool.” He looks at Mackie and Hyla, who give us one last glance, then follow him.

Rae watches as they walk to the pool table, then turns back to me with narrowed eyes. “You being serious?”

Oh, I’m plenty serious.

And Joel will seriously kick my ass, but at the same time, I’ve got to be a better choice than some bowling alley guy. 

I run my thumb over my lips, eyes dancing. I might as well lean into this.

“You said you want to make out with someone. You also said you want to have fun. Something about good kissing. And I have it on good authority that I’m a good kisser. From actual girls. Plus, you can say you kissed a college guy. All I’m saying is, whatever kind of fun you want to have tonight to cheer yourself up, I volunteer to, uh, take one for the team…”

Ball’s in her court now. She’s in charge and gets to decide if she laughs me off or…

No. I will not think about Rae sucking me off. Well, not for more than thirty seconds.

She stares at me for a long moment, and I clear those dirty thoughts from my mind. Fun. Crossing a line I shouldn’t cross with Rae would never be fun. Of my brother’s best friends, she’s the one I’m closest to. I like them all. They’ve become my friends, but Rae and I get each other and our friendship is easy. I love that. I don’t want to fuck it up. I’m about to say we shouldn’t bother and get us the hell out of here. But she speaks first.

“You know… we could never tell Joel. And nothing—I mean nothing—more than kissing.”

I stare back at her for a moment. “I agree to those terms.” I push myself off the bench, stepping over to the one she’s sitting on and dropping down next to her. Leaning in close, I brush my hand down her arm, then whisper, “Tell me if you want to stop.” The most important thing to me is that she feels safe. Even if we had no chemistry and I wasn’t into her at all, I’d still rather her kiss me than some douchebag who might hurt her. She’s safe with me.

She nods and I pull her closer, then press my lips into hers. I go insanely slowly, giving her time to get comfortable or stop me. I have no idea how experienced Rae is, but given that Davey was her first real boyfriend, I’m guessing not all that much, especially since she lets me lead and set the pace. Though I keep things slow and easy, I hope I’m showing her what good kissing should be. Suddenly, her tongue runs along the seam of my lips, and the way she’s kissing me changes. Shit. She’s been playing me this whole time. My grip on her waist tightens, and I part my lips. Then her tongue is in my mouth and we’re no longer going slow or taking it easy. This is tongues-twisting, barely-breathing, can’t-get-enough kissing. I’m not thinking anymore, I’m just reacting to her.

I pull her onto my lap, leaning in and enjoying all these sparks. It’s hot and comfortable without being emotional. Then again, I’ve never really kissed anyone with much emotion. Maybe the girl I lost my virginity to. We dated for a couple of weeks. That’s the most I’ve dated ever. But I’ve never felt that kind of emotion with anyone, and I don’t think I will until I find a good match for me—not that I’m looking. Right now, I’m enjoying a fan-fucking-tastic make-out session with zero strings attached.

I’m letting Rae have full control, and she is taking everything she wants from me. Deepening our kiss more with each swirl of our tongues. I’m actually pretty fucking impressed by what a good kisser she is. I wasn’t expecting it. Maybe I should’ve been. She has a flirtatious, wild side. Not everyone gets to see it, but when they do… well, maybe this is the prize they win.

I snake my hands into her hair, enjoying the ease and heat, but then she grinds on me, and I’m a minute away from being rock hard, which is not the plan tonight. Probably not the plan ever.

She pulls back and stares at me, panting. Her lip gloss is smudged and her skin is glistening slightly. She looks even sexier. Damn it. My mind is wandering to places it shouldn’t go. I’ve entered horny town, and there’s no getting out without an orgasm or a cold shower.

Danger.

“Should we stop?” she whispers.

Then my mouth makes words my brain did not approve. “Yeah, that way we can go back to my house and continue this in my bedroom.”

Her eyes widen. Beautiful, brown, lust-filled eyes. They narrow again just as quickly. “We can’t make it obvious.”

Holy shit.

“Are you sure you want to?” I choke out like I’m not the idiot who suggested it.

She looks at me earnestly and calmly but confidently says, “I don’t know exactly what I want, or how far I want to go, but I think I’d like to go further than this.”

I think I nod. I’m not against this, but I’m surprised by this. I wasn’t prepared for this. I’ve never been a Boy Scout, so preparedness isn’t necessarily my jam, but this feels like we’re walking into the woods without a tent, a map, or any food. Probably not the smartest idea.

But then she shifts off my lap and grabs my hand, and some sort of horny vision takes over. Fuck it. I’ve never been the smartest kid. All I know is I might be on my way to having sex with Rae McKinley and my dick is properly excited about that.

We get Hyla, Mackie, and Trev and head back to my house. I think Rae promises something about the hot tub, but I don’t need to be any hotter than I already am.

When we get back, the three of them head outside, while Rae drags me into the kitchen to “make snacks.” For a second I think “snacks” is code for something, but then she actually does dump some food on a sheet tray and shove it in the oven.

Then, in a haze of lust, we’re on our way to my bedroom.

There is every chance my brother is going to murder me tonight. There is also a chance I’m going to die very happily when he does.

The second we’re in my room, she strips my shirt off. Damn, I was not prepared for this feisty version of Rae of tonight. Part of me wonders if I should stop her, but she’s in control, and I think she needs that tonight.

A slight smirk appears on her face, and she runs her hands down my chest.

Screw it.

I kiss her hard as we tumble onto my bed. I quickly pull her shirt off, then continue the kiss. She’s still pouring herself into this, grinding against me, and my sanity is going right out the window, but I hold on to what I can, gently running my fingers along the back of her bra, testing what she’s comfortable with. She gives the slightest nod, and fuck, I’m about to see Rae’s boobs. Not sure there’s any going back after this, not that there really needs to be. We’re two friends hooking up. I pull her bra off, thoroughly enjoying the view of her full breasts and perky pink nipples.

Without another thought, I lean down and suck one into my mouth. She gasps when I do, but doesn’t stop me. She relaxes into my touch as I move across her chest. My face is buried in her cleavage when the front door loudly swings open.

Shit.

Joel yells something, then there are footsteps on the stairs,

Double shit.

We jump off the bed, grabbing frantically for our clothes. I toss Rae her bra and shirt. She slips the bra on and I quickly hook it. She pulls her shirt over her head and smooths it out right as Joel knocks on the door and sticks his head in.

I don’t have a shirt on, but that’s fine. Normal. Casual.

“Hey, bro. Is—” He stops short when his eyes land on Rae. He throws the door all the way open and stares at us standing awkwardly. His face turns bright red. He really needs to chill. Nothing happened. Not much, at least. That was like middle school stuff. I mean, if he hadn’t come home… Let’s not go there.

“Bro, I need you to calm—”

“Did you sleep with her?” he shouts.

“No,” Rae and I say together, making us seem guiltier than we are.

“Nothing happened,” Rae says.

“Yeah. She was upset about Davey. We were talking.” With our lips on each other’s lips.

Whatever.

Joel looks over at my messed up bed, then back at us before narrowing his eyes at Rae.

“Then how come your shorts are unbuttoned?”

I don’t remember… shit. Before I can warn Rae not to react, she looks down at her clearly buttoned shorts. Her cheeks flame deep red and she glares at Joel, who steps closer to her.

“If nothing happened, why were you worried about your shorts?” He’s way too proud of himself for that one.

Rae clenches one fist, and I grab my brother by the shoulder before Rae can deck him.

“We didn’t sleep together, okay?”

“But…?” he grumbles.

I glance at Rae, who gives a tiny shrug and says, “We made out.”

My brother nods, more like he’s going to hit something—my face—than out of understanding.

He turns back to Rae. “Rae, would you please let me talk with my brother alone?”

Oh boy. Here we go.

No wonder Rae wanted to get away from everyone tonight. They are way too protective sometimes.

She glances over at me, and I give her a nod. There’s no getting out of this.

Joel spins to face me as Rae walks to the door. She pauses and looks at me, then mouths, thanks.

I stifle a laugh, then Joel, whose sharp gaze remains on me, says, “Go, Rae.”

She barely holds back a laugh as she walks out of the room.

As soon as she’s gone, he crosses his arms over his chest. “You made out with her? Right after she dumped her boyfriend? What the hell is wrong with you? She’s my best friend. Were you going to do more? If I hadn’t walked in?”

I stare my brother down. “Does it matter? Nothing else happened. And I know she’s your best friend. She also happens to be my friend. Do you seriously think I’d ever take advantage of her? I know she just broke up with Davey, which is why she took the lead on everything.”

“You shouldn’t have even been messing around with her,” he growls.

“Oh? Should I have let her go off to find some charming guy to make out with at the bowling alley?” His face pulls into a grimace. “Yeah, I thought so. Rae wanted to relax and unwind and get Davey off her mind. I volunteered to be a safe person to kiss.”

“And you didn’t enjoy it at all?”

I fold my arms over my chest, matching his stance. “What if I did? Why does it matter? We’re both old enough to make our own decisions.”

He sighs and shoves a hand through his hair. “What about Aaron?”

“What about him?” I ask, feeling a desperate need to poke the bear. I appreciate his protectiveness of Rae, but it’s annoying when it’s turned on me.

“You know there’s something between them.”

“Yeah. I think there is. But they’re not together. At no point did Aaron ask me to back off or declare some kind of intentions with her. Either way, it’s up to Rae what she does with her life, and I got the feeling she needed a distraction from all that. Besides, maybe kissing the wrong guy will remind her who the right one is.”

He nods slowly, though I can tell he’s still pissed.

“Do you have feelings for her? Besides in your dick.”

“Easy killer. And no. I don’t. I care about her as a friend. We have great chemistry, but believe me, she is not the girl I would ever want to date. We have fun. But everything stops with fun.”

He sighs. “Okay.” He turns to leave but spins back to face me. “I wasn’t just worried about her. I wanted to make sure you weren’t getting caught up with a girl who—”

“Loves someone else? Don’t worry. It’s all good. I’m not falling for her. Or anyone. That’s how I like it.”

He rolls his eyes. “Of course.” He nods toward the door. “Going down?”

I snicker, and he rolls his eyes. “You’re twelve.”

He walks out the door and slams it behind him as I laugh. It’s been a good night.

***

After a while, I went downstairs and joined everyone around the bonfire, letting them heckle Rae and me. Eventually, the group split off, and I came back upstairs to my room. Being more of a night owl, I’m not tired yet, but before I settle in with a TV show or movie, I want to make sure the fire is out.

Walking over to my window, I pull the curtain. I smile to myself as I watch Aaron and Rae dancing intimately. I let my hormones—or horniness—push the line earlier, but I’m glad everyone came back when they did. Rae will always be fun to flirt and have a good time with, but we both know we aren’t the people for each other—and that’s cool. I want to be sure I’m never standing in the way of her having the happiness she deserves. Without a doubt, I know it’s with Aaron. I close the curtain and walk back over to my bed, flopping onto it again. Hopefully, the two of them will figure that out sooner than later.


Nothing Like a Black Eye

(from Falling Like This chapter 12)

Jesse

I walk into the kitchen, hair wet from the shower I just finished. I should’ve been down here sooner, but I was too busy in the shower. My hand is not cutting it these days.

My phone buzzes in my pocket, and I pull it out and check the text that just came through.

Carrie Linde: Hey! Getting into any fun trouble this weekend?

I smile as I stare at my phone. Then my brain slaps my heart, giving it a jolt of reality. I have feelings for a girl with a boyfriend.

I overthink my reply as my brain and heart argue. She seems to like me too—but then she’s still dating her high school boyfriend. This is fruitless. Be friendly. But not too friendly. I’ve had my fun playing the field, but I don’t play with other people’s girlfriends.

Me: Back home. Party for my brother’s birthday with a bunch of his friends. What about you?

Carrie Linde: Back home too. Boring as usual. Text me if your night is boring too.

I sigh and toss the phone back onto the counter. The back door flies open, thankfully drawing my attention away from the text.

“Hey, little bro. How’s the party so far? Need anything?”

Joel shrugs as he walks into the room. “It’s fine. Can you check how much beer we have left? I just refilled the cooler, but I don’t know how long it’ll last.”

“Yeah, sure.” I walk over and smack his shoulder. “Try to enjoy yourself.”

He sighs. “Yeah. I’m trying.” With a quick nod, he walks back outside. I feel bad for him. Their normally tight friend group has been a little fractured since Rae and Aaron had a blowout fight a few weeks ago. They’ve barely spoken since.

I walk down the hall to the pantry, shaking my head. The two of them need to figure out their shit and stop letting it affect everyone else.

I find one twenty-four pack of Labatt Blue in the pantry and head down to the basement to see if there’s any other beer by the bar down there. 

I’m halfway down the stairs when I hear sniffling. I run down the last few steps and see Rae lying on the couch, crying.

Fucking hell, I’m going to kill Aaron.

But as I get closer, I notice how hard she’s crying. That’s unlike her. Rae hates crying in front of people. This is more than Aaron. It has to be.

“Rae Rae? Shit, are you okay?” I sit down on the footrest and rub my hand over her back.

She jolts, then rolls over, looking up at me with tear-stained cheeks and red eyes. My heart breaks a little. I hate seeing people sad. I always want to cheer them up, but especially Rae. She’s normally fun and vivid. She’s my friend, and I want to do something to make her feel better—especially at her eighteenth birthday party.

I pull her up to sitting, our knees touching, and take her hands.

“Is this about A? Joel filled me in. And I saw him dancing with her. He’s being a real prick tonight.”

A bitter laugh slips out of her mouth. “That’s a word for it.”

I shake my head and narrow my eyes. “This isn’t only about him. I know you, Rae. Heartbroken or not, you’re not the one to cry hysterically on a couch at a party. Maybe alone in your room. Maybe in someone else’s arms. Not here at a party. What else is going on? Joel told me you don’t have a prom date, either? Why? Are you waiting on Aaron?”

She sighs, and pain fills her eyes. Something’s wrong. Now that I think about it, something has been wrong. She hasn’t been herself for months. I chalked it up to all the shit with her and Aaron, but now I’m not so sure that’s it.

“A part of me is hoping Aaron and I will fix things. No matter how stupid that seems right now. Either way, there’s no one else I want to go with.”

She’s lying. Her voice is too high and she won’t meet my gaze. 

I give a little push. “You are surrounded by hot baseball boys and there’s no one you want to go to prom with? Even as friends?”

“Nope.” She’s doing a shit job of trying to be confident about that.

I shake my head, calling her bluff. “You aren’t telling me something.”

“Jesse, please leave it, okay?”

“No. You’re one of my best friends, Rae.” Her brow furrows, but it’s true. She’s become one of my best friends, especially over the past couple of years. “You are. I know when we were younger you were my annoying little brother’s friend, and I was his obnoxious older brother, but we’re older now, and I hope you know I consider you a close friend. Be honest with me.”

Her lip trembles, and she starts crying again. My stomach wells with uncertainty. There’s something about this I really don’t like.

“Thanks, J. And for what it’s worth, you’re my friend, too.” She sniffs. “And—” She hesitates, so I squeeze her hands a little tighter.

“What’s going on, Rae?”

She meets my gaze, her breath shaking. “Um, last June at a party, I was…” That sick feeling in my stomach grows as she trails off, shaking her head.

I slide my hands up her arm, wrapping my hands around her elbows as I dip my head down and look into her eyes. “What happened?”

“I was… a guy almost… raped me.” My blood runs cold as she breaks down sobbing again, but I push past it and pull her into my arms.

“Oh shit.” What do I say? What does she need? “It’s okay. You’re safe.”

She nods against my chest and mumbles, “I know. It’s just been a hard year.”

“Clearly. And no wonder it’s hurting you even more that Aaron is acting like this. I take it he knows.”

She nods, then pulls back. “Yeah. Plus… he’s the only person I’ve kissed since then. Some days I still don’t feel like my body is my own, but I always felt safe with him.”

“Shit. Who else knows?”

“We recently told the parents, but otherwise, only the five of them. They were all there. Miles was the only one in the room and this guy—”

“Who was it?” I clench my fists, ready to murder this fucker who almost raped her. Fuck that. I’ll kill him. I’m shocked as fuck the guys haven’t already done that. 

“Jesse…”

“Who?”

“Mike Thomas.”

“I knew that guy was fucking sketchy. I’m gonna—”

Her body stiffens, and she pulls back more. “Do nothing. I’m serious. The boys beat the hell out of him and you’re smart enough to know there’s nothing else that can be done.”

“Doesn’t mean I like it.”

“Yeah, he’s a bad guy. And I am pretty sure he’s done it before because he had a system. Two guys blocking the door. Miles had to go get help. If they’d been a minute later…” She trails off again, and I pull her back into my arms.

“I’m so sorry you had to go through that.”

“I’m sorry I’m crying like a baby in your basement at my birthday party. I feel ridiculous.”

Leaning back, I look her over. Then I nod and stand up. “That’s okay. We are going to deal with this.”

We are?” she asks with a laugh as she wipes her cheeks.

“Yes. By doing three things.”

“What?”

“First, I’m going to get you a drink. Orange soda and vodka, right?”

She nods as I walk over to the bar, grabbing an orange soda from the mini-fridge. I open it and drink a little, then top it off with some vodka. I walk back over and put it in her hand.

She takes a little drink, then smiles.

“Next, I am going to be your date for prom.”

I raise my eyebrows at him. “Joel will—”

“I don’t give a shit. I’ll handle my brother. You deserve to have a date. And you know you can trust me. We’ll have an awesome time.”

“You’d really go with me?”

“Is that a yes?”

“Yes, J. You can be my date for prom.”

“Perfect. Now for step number three. You need to feel comfortable in your body, you need to have some fun, and you need to make A jealous. So, if you’re up for it, I volunteer to, uh, take one for the team.”

She stares at me for a moment. Maybe it’s a bad idea, but frankly, I’m pissed at Aaron right now. After everything Rae went through, he’s out there dancing with Caity and trying to make Rae jealous. Well, two can play at that game. Plus, given my stupid crush on Carrie, maybe I’m a little irritated that Aaron has the girl he wants—who wants him too—right in front of him and is too stupid to fight for her.

“I think you wanna make out with me again,” Rae teases.

Can’t make out with the girl you want? Make out with a hot-as-hell friend who needs some cheering up.

“That’s exactly it,” I say with a laugh.

“You’ll let me take the lead?”

I look at her seriously. I want her to feel completely comfortable with this. “If all you want is someone fun to dance with, I’m here. I guess what I’m saying is, whatever you want, whatever helps you feel better and more comfortable, I’m here for. You deserve to have some fun. You decide what any of that is. And if it makes Aaron jealous, that’s an extra win.”

She looks at me for a moment, thinking it through.

“Jesse,” she breathes, and my gaze drops back to her.

“Yeah?”

A flash of a smirk crosses her face, then her lips are on mine. Let the good times roll. I kiss her back, then run my tongue over her bottom lip, teasing her like she did to me the first time we kissed. She playfully runs her tongue over my top lip, then quickly pulls back, smiling and looking much happier than she was a few minutes ago.

“It’s not to make him jealous,” she says, trying to make herself believe it. “I’m not going to be that girl. No staring at him. No making a scene. I’m going to kiss you and dance with you because it’s fun. And I’m going to tell Joel that you’re taking me to prom because he needs to cool his shit and let me enjoy myself!” She’s hyped up and ready to have fun.

“See, this is so much better. You smiling and having fun? That’s how tonight should be.”

“I agree.”

I grab her hand and pull her up, leading her up the basement stairs. Joel is walking in the back door as we get to the top of the stairs. Joel’s eyes widen when he sees her, and he runs over.

“Are you okay?” he asks, stopping in front of Rae.

“I’ll meet you outside,” she says.

I nod and walk out to the deck. I glance around, looking for Aaron. He’s off to the side of the party, nursing a beer and looking pissy. Seems like a base state these days. Part of me wants to tell him to knock off his pity party and go get his girl. To tell him Rae was sobbing in the basement because then he’d go into protector mode and maybe actually fucking fix things. But you know what? That’s not my fucking job. If he wants Rae, he needs to step up. I am going to make sure she has fun at her birthday party because she deserves that much.

***

Rae came back out of the house looking hot and ready to party. We danced for a bit, and I was fully aware Aaron was watching us, but I let Rae take the lead and did not lean too hard into making him jealous.

She’s been dancing with the girls for a bit, so I’m over by the outdoor pool table, hanging with some of the guys. A hush falls, and I turn to look where they’re looking, and what I see is Rae sauntering over to me.

Oh, damn.

I know that look. She’s looking for trouble. She’s looking for me.

She slides onto my lap. “Still up for some fun?”

“Always.”

“Perfect.” Some soda sloshes out of the can she’s holding as she lunges forward and kisses me.

I wasn’t sure she’d want more than to have a little fun and get in a better mood, but suddenly her tongue is in my mouth, and well… I’m not complaining. She’s a great kisser. She shifts on my lap and her ass rubs my dick.

Warning!

I pull back and look up at her. “Hey, not that I’m not enjoying this, but uh, you rubbing your ass over me like that…” I clear my throat. “It may have side effects you don’t want.”

A slow smile spreads across her face and I peek into the can of soda to see how much of it she drank. Not much. And I didn’t put a lot of vodka in there because I know she doesn’t drink much.

“What if I do want the side effects?”

I blink a couple of times. “We can’t sleep together,” I say as quietly as humanly possible.

She shoves my shoulder. “I’m not suggesting that. I’m just saying… maybe I want to do something a little more than PG.”

Just like last time.

“Well, if that’s the case, I have a room upstairs.”

Her smile grows, then she hops off my lap and grabs my hand. Our fingers are loosely twined as we try to not-too-obviously head for the back door.

We’re a few steps away when there’s a shift in the air around us. Everyone gets quiet, and as I turn to see why, a hand grips my shoulder. I see a flash of Aaron’s face before his fist slams into the left side of my face. The force rips my hand from Rae’s and sends me hurtling backward.

I said I wanted to piss him off. Mission accomplished.

Rae yells something at him, then runs over to me as Joel helps me up.

Nick and Trevor stand between Aaron and me, bitching about fistfights. By the time I’m on my feet, Miles is dragging Aaron away.

Sarah and Joel are in front of me, Sarah looking at my face, and Joel brushing me off.

“You okay?” he asks.

I wince when Sarah touches an obviously open cut.

“I’ll be fine.”

Rae huffs, then walks away, aiming straight for Aaron. We all watch it like the fucking train wreck it is as she goes off on him.

“Brilliant idea, pissing Aaron off,” my brother says.

“Yeah. I know. I probably deserved this.”

“Probably?” Sarah snorts. “Everyone needs to settle the hell down tonight.” She’s probably right about that. “By the way, you’re going to need stitches.”

I wince again and look over at my brother. “I’m sorry. I wanted to cheer her up—”

“You wanted to cause trouble,” he says knowingly.

“Maybe. Either way, I’m sorry. You deserve a better party than this.”

“Yeah, but it is what it is. You need to get that taken care of.”

“I’ll drive you,” Sarah says.

“I’m coming too,” Rae says, but then she looks at Joel. “Unless you want me to stay.”

“No. It’s fine. I’ll see you later. No more drama. Please.”

Rae hugs him and whispers something I can’t hear, then Sarah, Rae, and I leave to get my face sewn up.

***

No more drama.

Is pressing Rae against my bedroom door and kissing her drama?

Probably.

Do I care?

Not really.

Four stitches, a burger, and a milkshake later, and we ended up on my front porch. Flirting again. Kissing again. Me getting hard again.

Now we’re in my bedroom and she’s pulling off my shirt. I’ve got a bit of déjà vu, but unlike last year, when we might’ve made the mistake of taking things further if we hadn’t been interrupted, some shirtless kissing is likely all that’s going to happen tonight, and I’m down with that.

We end up on my bed, and with everything she went through at the front of my mind, it’s important to me that she feels safe and completely in control. I continuously check in with her. Before I remove her bra, before my lips hit her perky pink tits, I make sure she’s comfortable, especially since she can probably feel my hard-on. I don’t want her to feel like there’s any pressure.

When she runs her hands through my hair and softly moans, I rip my mouth away and look up at her. “Do you want to do more?” She shakes her head. “Do you want me to stop?” She smiles and shakes her head again, so I eagerly get back to sucking on her nipples like they’re candy.

She moans again—a few times, actually—then her breathing hitches. Her feet slide up and her grip on my hair tightens as her muscles tense and she moans again.

What the hell?

She shudders, and I sit up, staring at her in surprise. Did she just have an orgasm?

“Did you just…?”

“I think I did,” she says, as shocked as me.

“I didn’t know you could…” I lie down next to her, staring in disbelief. Orgasms from nipple play? That’s new to me.

“Me either.”

“Was it okay?” I ask, a little concerned that could’ve been too far for her.

“Was that not obvious? It felt amazing.”

“Good. I said I wanted to make sure you had fun.”

“Yeah, you did. And I want you to have fun, too.” That devil smirk of her pops out and a second later, she’s on top of me, taking control, and then pinning my hands above my head.

Danger!

I like being controlled, dominated a little, which doesn’t seem like her personality, but at the same time, this is turning me on. Probably more than it should. Then she grinds against me and I’m not sure I care.

My heart’s pounding as she leans down and sucks on my neck. Then she keeps going, down my stomach. And… is she trying to kick things up a notch? Her fingers dance around my waistband, and I grab her arm. I want to make sure she thinks this through. If she hasn’t done anything with anyone else since what happened to her at that party, she can’t be lost in hormones while making this decision.

 “Rae?”

She stares at me for a moment, then smiles like she could see my concern. “You want me to?” she asks.

“I—uh—um—yeah. But it’s—are you okay with that?” Nice. Smooth.

She laughs a little and sits up straighter, confidence filling her, though her eyes remain playful. “Wouldn’t wanna give you blue balls, J. Plus, I do kinda owe you.”

Well, if she wants to. “That is an excellent point.” She pulls on my waistband, but I grab her arm again, looking at her seriously. “Stop any time if you need to.”

She nods, then pulls at my boxers again.

Shit. Rae’s about to see my penis.

It springs out as she pulls the fabric down, and she smiles, then digs through my bedside drawer for some lube. A second later, her hand is on me, and fuck.

She works me like it’s the easiest thing she’s ever done. Hand jobs seem pretty straightforward, but doing it well means touching just right, and going at a good pace, finding the balance between teasing and getting someone off. I’ve had some crappy hand jobs that are barely better than me getting myself off, but this?

I shudder, knowing this is going to be over too fast.

I thrust into her hand, but she sets the pace and keeps me moving quickly to the edge.

I try to let her know when I’m close, but my words come out in mumbles, and she smiles.

A second later, I come all over her stomach.

Well, I wasn’t expecting that tonight.

I was anticipating beating one off in a hot shower or cursing myself in a cold one.

“Damn, Rae Rae,” I pant, peeling my eyes open. “That was hot. And pretty great.”

“Really?” she asks happily.

“Definitely.”

“So you enjoyed it, then?”

I cock an eyebrow. “Was that not clear?”

“Good. I just tried to move with your body. It was pretty intuitive.”

I grimace at that. Good thing she already got me off because something about that would’ve killed the mood. “You did not describe a hand job as intuitive.” She laughs and shrugs. I shake my head. “Well, however you wanna describe it, it was great. Thank you.”

Now she’s the one making a face. “You did not thank me for jacking you off.”

We both laugh.

“See. This is why we could never date,” I say.

“That and we’d drive each other insane,” she says with a sweet smile. “But the chemistry…”

“Yeah, that sure as hell works.” I give her another hot kiss, content to bask in the last few moments of whatever this is.

“That mean you’re not gonna kick me out of your bed? Cause I really don’t want to slum it home in the middle of the night,” she says playfully.

“And miss out on the chance to sleep with you?” I pull my boxers up, then hand her my undershirt before grabbing my sheets and pulling them up. “Come here.”

She rolls closer and I wrap my arm around her, the feeling of hooking up fading as we slowly shift back into our playful friendship. “Jesse, thanks for today. It meant a lot to me.”

“Anytime,” I say. “Anytime.” She smacks my chest, sensing my asshole smile.

I laugh again, then yawn, and soon enough I’m drifting off.

***

Rae and I woke up this morning, cozy for a few seconds, then the awkwardness hit. Actually, it was more than awkwardness. It was uncomfortable, and I felt a pang of guilt. I think Rae felt more than that. Let the record reflect, messing around with Rae is not a good idea. The lines stop at making out—but then again, maybe they don’t. They never seem to. We kiss and our chemistry takes over. I don’t necessarily regret what we did last night, but I don’t think we should’ve done it, either.

She seemed to feel the same way, which is why we compartmentalized that shit, then went for breakfast with Joel and Sarah—who spent the night in my brother’s room. Intriguing. But somehow I doubt anything’s going to come of it.

Now, I’m back on campus, free of the drama of the last twenty-four hours. Minus the black eye and Aaron possibly hating me. I don’t like the idea of people hating me. Especially someone I consider a friend.

Don’t mess around with Rae.

Flirt. Be funny. Cheer her up. No more cheering up with my lips or dick, though. Jeez.

I guess I’m not free of yesterday’s drama after all. In fact, I’m throwing myself a nice little pity party—which is still better than yesterday’s party—as I walk back to my dorm, my backpack slung over my shoulder.

I’m paying zero attention to where I’m going or what I’m doing, just following the sidewalk that leads to my dorm. I’m almost there when a voice calls out my name.

“Jesse! Hey—” Carrie comes to a quick stop in front of me, eyes wide. “Oh my god. What happened? Are you okay?”

She gently touches my face, but I quickly pull back. The spark between us is something I don’t need to feel when I can’t have it. But it’s probably the perfect punishment for hooking up with Rae last night.

“I was… helping a friend.” I sigh. “Then the guy who usually helps her got pissed and—shit, that sounded a lot more sexual than I was intending. It wasn’t sexual… for the most part.”

Her eyebrows shoot up. “Well, okay then. Still sounds better than my weekend,” Carrie says, walking into the dorm with me.

“What happened with your weekend at home?”

She shrugs. “Broke up with my boyfriend.”

Her eyes meet mine like she’s telling me this purposefully.

“Really?” I ask, trying not to sound too excited.

“Yep. I’d been thinking about it for a while, but it was time. Especially since I’ve been thinking a lot about another guy.”

My heartbeat ticks up. Ever watch a TV show and see the villain get rewarded for being an asshole? I feel like that’s what’s happening right now. Even if I’m not quite a villain, I can’t shake the feeling that I’m being rewarded for being a bad boy. Maybe I need to be spanked.

Maybe I need to settle the fuck down.

“Oh. Well. It’s good you ended things, then.”

“Yeah. It is. So, can I do anything for you?” My eyes flare, and she laughs. “I mean like get you some ice for your face. It’s pretty swollen.”

“Yeah. I need to hunt down a bag of peas.”

“I’ll do that, then meet you at your room.”

“Sounds good. Thanks, Carrie.”

She kisses my cheek, then smiles big. “Anytime.”

She scampers off to find some frozen vegetables for my face, and I finally make my way to my room in utter shock.

I set my stuff down, then collapse on the couch, exhausted.

Just as I get comfortable, my phone rings. Reluctantly pulling it from my pocket, I see Aaron’s name on the screen.

I shake my head, unsure of what to expect, then answer the call. “If you’re calling about yesterday, I don’t think they’ve invented phones you can punch through yet.”

Though I do feel guilty about some things that happened yesterday, it’s not like I’m solely to blame. Plus, he really needs to figure out his shit with Rae.

“Believe me, if I wanted to hit you again, I’d come out there. It’s not that far, and it’d be totally worth the drive.”

“And I’m locking my door…” I joke, though I don’t move at all. This is close to typical banter for Aaron and me, just with a bit more frustration on his end.

“Jesse?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m sorry. No matter how pissed I was, a fist to the eye wasn’t what you deserved.”

I laugh at that because it absolutely was. “I probably deserved more, actually. Rae had no desire to make you jealous, but I did. Partly because I thought it was fun. Partly because I wanted you to do something. I wasn’t expecting you to do that. Probably should have been. I knew what I was getting in the middle of. Speaking of, have you talked to Rae?”

“Yep.”

“And how’d that go?”

“Not well.”

“You must have done it wrong, then.”

He grumbles. “Tell me again how that black eye feels.”

“Pretty damn good, actually. There’s this girl I’ve been into—she’s been fawning over me since she saw it. I should really be thanking you.”

“You always manage to come out on top, huh?” The bite to his voice reminds me that this phone call, while fun, hasn’t exactly fixed anything.

“No. I don’t. Look, I can dick around with you all day. It’s easy. I know exactly what buttons to push. The fact is, I’m Rae’s shitty consolation prize. Not that I’d ever want to be more—she’s always been your girl.”

“Says the one who was with her last night.” He’s practically growling and probably plotting where to punch me the next time he sees me.

“Yeah. I was. But tell me, did you hook up with Caity when you were dating?” Again he grumbles, giving me his answer. “And how did it feel? Big emotional connection? Capture your heart, true love shit?”

“No. Of course not. It meant nothing to me.”

“Ah. There it is. What Rae and I did means nothing. It never has. Yeah, we have physical chemistry. That doesn’t come close to comparing to love. Especially the kind of love between the two of you. You want your girl? Go get her. The only thing stopping you is the two of you being dumbasses.” He’s quiet for a moment, and I wonder if he got tired of my shit and hung up. “Aaron?”

“I’m here.”

“Told you, I know your buttons. Get off the phone with me and talk to your girl. Because she is your girl. I hear it’s supposed to be a beautiful night, so stop moping around and do what you do best—stars, romance, all that bullshit. Go get her. Because I promise you, I am not the guy she wants to spend her time with or go to prom with or do pretty much anything with. It’s you, A. And we both know it always has been.”

Again he’s quiet for a moment.

“Jesse?”

“Yeah?”

“You’re an absolute ass. But you’re right. Fucker.”

I laugh hard at that, then instantly regret it. “Shit. Stop. It hurts to laugh.”

“Well, you deserve it.”

There’s a quick knock at the door, then it swings open, and Carrie strolls in looking sinfully hot and carrying a bag of something cold I desperately want for my face.

“Thanks for the call, A. We good?”

He huffs. “Yeah. We’re good.”

“Good, because that girl I was telling you about just walked in. Gotta go.”

“Yeah. Have fun. Use protection.”

“Fuck off.”

“Back at you. Bye.”

“Bye.” I’m pulling the phone away from my ear as I say the words, focused on Carrie now. “Hey.”

She comes over and sits down next to me. “Hey, I found some old corn.”

“That’ll do.” I take it from her and tip my head back, resting the bag on my face. I hiss, then sigh with relief.

“Feel good?” she asks, voice way sultrier than it needs to be, but I am not complaining.

“Yeah. It does.”

“Good.” She moves closer and cuddles against me. “But let me know if it doesn’t start feeling better. I can kiss it and see if that helps.”

“I think you should probably do that anyway,” I say smoothly.

A second later, her lips brush mine, and fuck. There’s that spark. Not chemistry like I had with Rae. This is different. This is the thing I swore I wasn’t into. Emotion. Yet feeling it now? I want to pin this girl to the couch and make her mine. All too quickly, though, she pulls away.

“I want to do more of that,” she whispers.

“But?”

“But it’s almost the end of the semester. I don’t want to get into a relationship before summer break.”

I pull the bag off my eye and turn to face her. “Fine with me, as long as you let me take you on some dates, kiss you, get to know you, and text you all summer.”

“Sounds perfect to me,” she says.

“Good.” Then I toss the bag of corn to the side and slowly push her backward, lying over the top of her, and pressing my lips into hers.

I hope Aaron and Rae get over their shit and get to this place.

Carrie deepens our kiss and pushes her tongue into my mouth. Because this is the best place to be.